Am I Not Good Enough?
by StarryNight101
Summary: Takes place during episode 194 of the Sailor Stars season. Set during THAT scene. The title says it all. More details inside. Not an Usagi/Seiya romance fic, purely friendship.


**AN: This has been going around my head for ages, so I decided to just write it down. Sort of a story version of the scene in episode 194 of Sailor Stars where Usagi think Seiya is Mamoru for a moment, and then Seiya asks the infamous question: am I not good enough? But it also continues on at the end a bit, including Usagi's reaction to Seiya's words.**

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"How long can you fight me off?" Sailor Iron Mouse questioned. "Take this! And this!"

She shot beams of light form her bracelets, and Sailor Moon did her best dodging them, knowing that if one hit her, she was as good as dead. But the battle had been going for so long, and Sailor Moon was getting weary. She didn't know how much more she could take. Just when she thought she was about to get hit, and with no chance of escape, a rose shot through the air, piercing Sailor Iron Mouse's hand. In that instant, Sailor Moon could have sworn her heart stopped. She looked up, her entire body shaking, to see the figure on the roof. The rose, the flowing red cape, and the pristine white gloves… the silhouette looked exactly like him… but was it him?

"Tuxedo… Kamen?" Sailor Moon asked, her breath shaky. She was almost scared to believe. After all this time… could he really have returned?

"If you try to hurt that girl, I won't forgive you!" Seiya shouted.

"Oh," was all Sailor Moon managed, her heart beating painfully in her chest as she sunk to the ground. It wasn't him. It was just Seiya. His jacket had made it seem like Tuxedo Kamen's cape… but it wasn't. The rest of the battle passed in a blur for Sailor Moon. She had no idea how Seiya managed to fight off Sailor Iron Mouse, but before long it was just the two of them. Sailor Moon dropped her transformation, still in shock from what had happened. She was just staring at the rose in front of her, the rose that was just an ordinary rose. So much the same, yet so different from what she wanted, what she _thought_. Rain started to fall around them, soaking Usagi.

'Perfect,' she thought bitterly. 'Weather to match my mood. How lovely.'

Seiya walked over towards Usagi, and she stood up, trying to put a smile on her face. She could tell Seiya was confused; he was waiting for an explanation of her behavior. How could he have known what he'd done to her? He was just trying to protect her, and he used the only weapon available to him.

"You know, when I think about it," Usagi began. "I'm not very good at enduring things."

Seiya, if anything, looked more confused, so Usagi widened her fake smile and continued on.

"Take homework, for example," she said. "Even if I decide to work on my homework today, I easily lose myself in a comic book, and then start eating snacks until I'm full and sleepy. And then I'll usually sleep after that."

Usagi took a deep breath, her shoulders shaking from the effort of repressing her sobs.

"I thought I had a strong will to go on," she said, her voice breaking. "But when I saw the rose… I remembered him! I can't hear his voice except on the answering machine, and he's never responded to any of my letters, but… I thought I was okay! I thought I could go on, survive by myself!"

"Odango," Seiya said, stunned by her revelation. He had known she was upset; it would take an idiot to not notice that. He knew she had a boyfriend, Mamoru, who was off at college and never called or wrote her. But whenever he brought up the subject, Usagi just shrugged it off, plastering a fake smile on her face, and changing the subject. But Seiya had no idea just how much she was hurting.

"But… but…" Usagi said, tears streaming down her face freely. "I just can't stand being alone! I just… can't!"

"Oh," Seiya said. What could he do to help? She was crying for her lost love, and it was nothing Seiya could control.

Usagi fell forward onto her hands and knees, her sobs coming harder and harder. "I want to see you… Mamo-chan! I want to see you!"

Her words gave way to mumblings, which finally subsided into plain sobbing.

Seiya knelt down in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulder.

"Am I not good enough?" He asked her, his dark eyes serious. When she didn't answer, he repeated himself. "Am I not good enough?"

"Seiya…" Usagi said. She didn't know what to say. What _could_ she say? No, you're not good enough? Seiya was her dear, dear friend, and he had given her so much happiness in these dark times. She knew he loved her; she wasn't blind or an idiot. She always acted as if she was oblivious because it was easiest for her. She could stand the thought of losing Seiya as a friend; he was one of the only things keeping her going. But she could never love him, not in the way he loved her. How could she, when her heart belonged entirely to Mamoru? It didn't matter that she hadn't spoken to him since he left, and that he might have moved on, or that he never even called to tell her he was busy and communication would be sparse. She loved him with all her heart and more, and she always would.

"Seiya," Usagi said again. "I… I just…"

"It's okay," Seiya said, a small smile on his face. "I understand. You don't have to say it."

"Thank you," Usagi said. "I mean it, Seiya. Thank you for everything. I… I don't know what I'd do without you, but you must understand that I… that I just _can't_…"

"I do understand," Seiya said. "I know you love Mamoru. He's a lucky guy."

His words were kind, but Usagi could see the sadness in his eyes. She knew it was hard for him to just let her go like this.

"Oh, Seiya…" Usagi said, her eyes welling up with tears once again. "I can't stand it! How? How can I go on? I can't stand being alone!"

She threw herself into his arms, her sobs starting up again; broken, uncontrollable sobs which came from the deepest part of her heart.

"Odango," Seiya sighed. This was good enough for him, just having her as a friend. For now. He wouldn't ever give up on her. "You're not alone. I'm right here. And I promise I won't ever leave you alone."

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**AN: Please review! :)**


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